chat with mei: sex life in japan - part 1
Hello world!
日本を離れて海外で生活し始めて、もうすぐ３年経つことに気づいて、日本の若い子のセックス事情はどうなっているのか気になって、10年近くの仲であるMeiがセックスについて赤裸々に話してくれたよ！今までこうやって日本の友達とセックスについて、ちゃんと話すことはあまりなかったけれど、Meiはセックスだけではなくて、日本のセックスカルチャー、風俗や売春についてもオープンに話してくれたので、今回はパート１とパート２でセックスと売春にテーマをわけてインタビューというよりも、あたしたちのメッセージでのやりとりをそのままシェアするね :)
I've been living outside of Japan for almost three years, and I wonder how Japanese girl's sex life is now. So, I asked one of my friends, Mei to have a chat about sex life in Japan with me. I've known Mei for nearly 10 years now, and we'd never had conversations about our sex lives. Also, she used to work in sex industry (fuzoku) and after a little while, she started her own "sex business" as a prostitute. Today, she shares her stories through her experiences with us! There are part 1 on sex life, and part 2 on prostitution.
Here's our conversations about sex life in Japan.
H: Hikari
M: Mei
H: まず最初の質問といえば、初めてはいつ？日本では『処女』でいることを恥ずかしいって思っている女の子がたくさんいるけれど、それについてはどう思う？
H: First of all, when was your first time? I know some Japanese girls are embarrassed that they're "virgin." What do you think about that?
M: 初めては、高校１年生の秋に８歳年上の人と。
周りに流されて、焦って済ませるんじゃなく、自分のペースで初めてを終えるのが理想だと思う。
M: My first time was when I was in grade 10 in autumn, with a guy who was 8 years older than me.
I think no one need to care about what other's think and don't ever rush your first time to be done. The ideal is: you'll know the right person and right time.
Demi McCulloch / landscapes
H: そう言ってくれると思ってた笑 セックス中にイケる子よりもイケない子の方が多いように、あたしはどちらかというとセックスを楽しめる時の方が少ないんだけど、Meiはどう?
H: I knew you would say that! haha I know there are many girls who can't have an orgasm during sex, and I can't enjoy having sex sometimes because of it. How about you?
M: 私は相手による！ エスコートしてくれる大人の人は気持ちいいポイントも掴めてるし、技術も高いので（笑）思いっきり楽しめます。お互い経験が浅くても、相手を気持ちよくしてあげようって愛情が伝わればお互い自然と楽しめるはず。
M: It depends on a person, to me. It depends on how much the person has experiences and how the person is good at it, (like especially older people for me.) If the person knows what is good for girls, I can enjoy it a lot. Even both don't have experience, if both have an idea of trying to make each other feel good with affection, I believe that it'll make it better
Tumblr: DREAMY
H: 納得！日本の今の若い子たち、周りの友達の恋愛やセックスライフってどんな感じ？
H: True! What are Japanese young people's/your friends' love and sex life like?
M: デート2.3回→男の子から告白→１ヶ月位でセックスが一般的な流れ。女友達間で自分の性生活の話は滅多にしないかな。その分、ツイッターの裏アカウントで赤裸々なツイートをしてる女の子が周りに多いです。
最近私が驚くことは日本でタブーだった「出会い系」がメジャーになってきた事。出会い系アプリで知り合ったカップルも知ってるし恥ずかしがらなくなった。お互いの好みを入力してマッチした相手と会うなんて合理的で良い！
私は女の子たちがお互いの性の悩み、好みを晒け出せる世の中になって欲しい！
ネットに惑わされず、実際に使ってよかったラブグッズが知りたいし、楽しかったプレイも知りたい！笑
M: For love life, (if it's a boy and a girl) they go to a date for about two or three times, and a boy tells a girl how he feels about her and ask her to be his girlfriend, and then the two have sex about in a month after they became a couple. Somehow, it usually like this way.
I don't usually talk about my sex life with my friends. However, I know many girls who has a second account on Twitter besides their public one, and they tweet about sex really openly.
I'm surprised that people started using "online dating" apps more often which was taboo in Japan. I know a couple who met on dating app, and people stop being embarrassed using them. People put their preferences and find a person to match, I think that makes sense and rational!
I want girls to be able to talk about sexual preferences and problems more openly. I don't wanna depend on information on the Internet, and I wanna know what good sex toy was, and which role play or position they enjoyed! haha
Love Hotel in Kobe, Japan
H: あたしも最近やっと仲良しの日本人の子とセックスの話をするようになって、もっとそうやって話せればいいのにって思う。そしてやっぱりまだ男の子から気持ちを伝えるほうが多いんだね。こっちでも出会い系のアプリが人気でよくそれを通して出会ったっていう人を聞く！
実はラブホテルがあるのは日本くらいで、あたしは２回しか行ったことがないんだけど、日本のラブホテルってやっぱりセックスライフのメリットだよね？どれくらいの頻度で行く？
H: Recently, I started talking about sex openly with my Japanese close friend, and I wish it would be more like that. And I was surprised that boys are still the one who tell girls how they feel and ask girls out. (When I was in grade 7 - 12, boys are the one who tell/ask girls.) I've heard many couples who met on dating app in North America, too!
I think love hotels exist only in Japan, and I've been only twice. Do you think that having love hotels is big deal for Japanese sex life? How often do you use?
M: もっとオープンに話せれば、性の悩み(性病、妊娠、DVとか)も相談しやすいのにね。
ラブホテルがないなんて、考えられない！家にしか呼べないってこと？恋人以外とはどこでセックスするの？日本だと、「家族に紹介する人＝結婚を考えてる人」という考えになってしまうこともあって実家にはなかなか恋人を呼びづらい人が多い。そんな実家同士のカップルに欠かせないのがラブホテルで気分によって内装、設備を選ぶことができる。ダーツ付き、露天風呂付き、和風、アンティーク風etc。
私は彼氏と月３くらい。彼氏以外とは月２くらい使います！
M: If we could talk more openly, we can ask and learn about sexual problems such as STD, pregnancy, and domestic violence.
I can't think that there's no love hotel! So, do you guys have to visit each other's house? Where do they have sex if they aren't a couple? Because in Japan, if you introduce partner to your family, people think that you're considering marriage and your future with the person. So, it's not that easy to bring your partner to your house if you're living with your parents. For those people, they can't live without love hotels! We can get to choose a room and options with how we want it to be: such as with darts, open-air bath, Japanese style, antique style and etc.
I use three times in a month with my boyfriend, and twice a month with guys who are not my boyfriend.
Tumblr: lecerise.tumblr.com
H: そう！だからこっちで、もしセックスしたいってなったらお互いのお家に行くっていうのが当たり前。でも学生の場合は、ルームシェアしてる子や寮に住んでいる子が多いから、親の心配をすることが日本よりも少ないかも！こっちの若い人はラブホテルの存在に感動してる人もいるくらい！
日本の若い人たちのセックスの知識はどう感じる？Meiはどこで勉強してる？
H: Yes! So, if we wanna have sex in North America, people usually visit each other's house. But many students share apartment or house with roommates, and live in dormitory so they don't have to worry about parents more than as much as Japanese young people do. I know many young North American who are impressed about the idea of love hotels in Japan! What do you think about Japanese people's knowledge on sex? How do you study or learn?
M: ルームシェア、寮が多いんだね。日本の学生だと殆ど居ないし驚き。
セックスの知識はネットを通して、なんじゃないかな？なかなか友達に聞くってのはないと思う。ティーン向けの男の子雑誌だと「女の子の攻め方」なんてページが毎月あるものもあったり…
私自身もネットが多い。あとはセックス好きの友達どうしで情報交換もする！
小学生の時に性差や月経について学習したけど、一番多感な中学生の時にコンドームの付け方、つけないリスクを学ぶ機会があればいいのにな、と思う。
M: I was surprised that house sharing or living in dorm are popular in North America! That's very rare in Japan.
I think most of the people learn about sex on the Internet. I don't think people would be comfortable to ask their friends. There are some teen boys' magazines teach them "how to make girls feel good" and stuff like that every month.
I usually get information about sex on the Internet. Or, sometimes I talk with my friends who love sex!
We learned sexual specificity and period when we were in elementary school but I wish there was a chance to learn how to put condom, what would happen if we don't use condom and stuff like that when we were in junior high school (grade 7 - 9.)
H: やっぱり今はインターネットがメインだよね。確かにあたしももう少し日本の性教育が違ったら、今のセックスに対しての考え方や知識も違ったんだろうなと思う。中学や高校ではコンドームを配ったりするのもいいと思うし。Meiの思う、セックスのメリットとデメリットは？
H: I guess our main source is the Internet now. I think that our idea or knowledge of sex would be different if we could get better sex education. Like, they can give students free condoms in junior high school and high school.
What's your merit and demerit of having sex?
M: コンドーム配るのいいね！若いうちは買いに行くのもドキドキするもんね。
メリットは気持ちいい！恋人とすればスキンシップになるし、言葉なくても愛情が伝わるのが良い。セックスのデメリットは私はないと思う。ただ、コンドームをつけないデメリットは望まない妊娠、HIVなどの性病かな。私もクラミジアになって苦労したことがあります…
M: That's a good idea because young people can get nervous to go to buy them! Merit is definitely that I can feel good. It'll be the best way to touch each other as partners, and to feel each other's affection without words. And I don't think there's no demerit of having sex. However, there is demerit of not wearing a condom like unwanted pregnancy, or STD such as HIV. I've got chlamydia before and I had a hard time.
どう思った？こういう風にMeiにオープンに色々聞けて、話せて、楽しいし、やっぱり日本人の女の子にこういった環境が必要かもと思ったよ。パート2では、Meiが売春や風俗での経験を話してくれるよ。お楽しみに :)
What did you think? I'm really enjoying talking with her about this, and I think her perspectives on sex is much needed for Japanese girls. On part 2, we'll be talking about her experiences as a prostitute and it'll be up next week so stay tuned!
xx Hikari