racism, sexism and interracial couple

(Photo: Ruru)
It's been so long since I tried to write about this topic for the first time.
There were posts I wrote but never published. I was scared what people would think and say 'you're being too sensitive.'
Also it's not a happy experience I would share with people.
But here I am, finally writing this to share with you.
I guess lots of people already watched this video which has been spread to all over the world last month.
I also guess lots of people already know an argument that people thought an Asian woman in this video was the nanny, and not his wife.
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*If you didn't know any of this here is an article about it!
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Why did people assume an Asian woman in BBC viral video was the nanny?
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This argument just made me very sad.
Since I am an Asian who lives in the UK, I faced to racism so many times.
Most of them weren't anything extremely terrible or physically violent, but casual and everyday racism.
(some of my friend had much worse experiences such as to be shouted 'go back to your county' on the street.)
I am not saying it only happens in the UK or white to coloured races.
I know (because of my friends' and my experiences) it happens to white to white, Asian to Asian and Asian to white and black etc
But I am focusing on white men and Asian women couples today.
I think international/interracial couples are getting normal nowadays in some countries.
People didn't shouted on us on the street when I dated white man.
Yet people stared at us.
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When I was a high school student, I came to England to study English during summer holiday.
One night, after I went out with my friends, I took a taxi alone to go home.
In taxi, a taxi driver spoke to me in very friendly way and we had a casual chat at first.
We talked about normal things such as where I'm from, what brought me England and etc, then he casually asked me out.
At the time, my English was not good and I didn't know British culture so I wasn't sure whether he was just being friendly or the conversation
was getting weird.
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(Photo: Ruru)
So I gave him a vague answer, like 'yeah maybe hahahaha I can bring my friends too.'
Then he said ' no no just you and me, you know, you can come my place and we can have fun.'
and I said ' nah hahahah I don't think I can ahahaha'
Then he started trying to flirt with me and asked me sexual questions.
'You are very pretty.' ' You're a party girl, aren't you?' 'Do you have a boyfriend?' 'Are you a virgin?' 'Do you like sex?'
and asked me to come to his place again and again although I said no and I have a boyfriend. (I didn't have one but you know...)
It was midnight, no one on the street and we were in his car.
I was like 'wtf is this creepy guy, you are like over 40 what!?' but at the same time I was a bit scared.
So I couldn't be mad and just ignored him but tried to just laugh and be polite not to make him mad at me.
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Anyways, he asked me the same things again and again, and I answered no with a laugh.
Then he said,
'Asian girls are so shy and say no first but I know you will say yes in the end. Asian girls like Western guys.' (and he did female moaning voice.)
That shocked me so much.
I knew that there are people who say Japanese girls are easy for white men yet I didn't think that people actually see us in that way.
Fortunately, I met other amazing people in England while the stay so the incident didn't make me think all British men are like the taxi driver and it didn't make me hate the UK but it stuck in my head for a long time.
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(Photo: Ruru)
This white men and Asian women stereotype exist in Japanese people's minds too.
When I dated white man, I was told that I shouldn't be serious to him because he is white and maybe he just wants to have fun with Asian girls.
(Japanese person told me.)
One time, a stranger we met in a bar asked me if me and him are having one night stand on the night.
The other time, a Japanese guy said that all Japanese girls, who date white guys, look like bitches. (He didn't know that I was dating a white guy.)
I don't care if those happen to me now, but at the time, those comments hurt me a lot and made me almost ashamed myself being an Asian.
I'm so sick of those stereotype ideas and rude jokes.
Moreover, I'm sick of myself that I don't say anything when I encounter sexism/racism to someone or even myself.
I could say something when those things happened although I am generally shy and not that type of the person who can shout to someone.
Unfortunately, sexism and racism happen all the time yet I don't even say anything when my friends do it.
It's hard to talk this kind of topic, especially it's hard to explain feminism/sexism to men and racism to white people.
They might not feel comfortable to listen and maybe they feel that I am attacking them.
I've told that racism doesn't exist in the UK and France by British and French people. They said they've never seen it in their countries before.
Well, I guess there's no racism towards to them since they are white and British/ French.
I've never had racism experiences in Japan but I'm aware of it towards to foreigners.
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Hanna Witton (Youtuber) said
'Don't doubt them when people tell you their racism/sexism experiences and don't make them doubt theirselves. Accept and believe them.'
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When I talk about feminism/sexism/racism, I am not attacking men nor white people.
I just want you to know those things happen and we're still not equal at all.
And don't forget before male/female or white/coloured, we all are just humans.
Thank you for reading x
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