a fashionable ego death: changing perspectives
Recently, Iâve been thinking a lot about fashion- what I put on my body, what certain pieces make me look like, and how I showcase my style to those I encounter in everyday life.
From personal experience, clothes and I have had a tumultuous ride. We have gone from great indifference, pretending to know a thing or two about fashion, trying to fit in with everyone elseâs (at times boring) style, reading too many Teen Vogues on a small budget, and finally, dressing exclusively for myself and for comfortâs sake.
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Iâve realized as Iâve carried on through my short existence that, not only have I completely changed as an individual, my sense of style has changed as well. I go through many phases of fashion and, not one to pinpoint my aesthetic directly, have developed a jumbled mess of random clothing from various phases Iâve experienced. For example, I own an expensive and long âbohemian-esqueâ skirt that I probably would never have picked up if I were to see it in store now. To contrast, I have recently just purchased a vintage, silk-blue sukajan jacket which pays homage to Okinawa, Japan on it. I am obsessed with it. Will I like this jacket a few months from now? Only time will tellâŠ
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Not only have I been consumed with the idea of what fashion means to me, Iâve also been very observant of what this may mean to other people. Iâve noticed on nights out when debuting a unique look, Iâm met with many vacant stares of What are you wearing? Thatâs so weird⊠Obviously this mentality can offer a lens on my own self-esteem, but also says a lot of what the norm in Torontoâs clubbing and partying scene is specifically. Sometimes when going out with friends, I end up feeling like the odd one out since many of them will wear heels, and Iâve opted for Nike Huaraches (which everyone has now I get it okay!). Of course fashion is so personal, but this is a feeling many people experience and is one that is hard to ignore- feeling like the odd one out.
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Iâve talked to a few friends about my opinions on this and was met with similar reactions. I discussed with a friend about the first time I debuted a shorter hairstyle, as opposed to my classically medium to longer length looks. When Iâd go out to see and be seen, I was met with an air of disapproval, one so palpable that only you can truly feel its effects. A friend of mine mentioned that when she did the same thing, cutting her hair short, she understood what I meant. This leads me to ask, why do I, and some of my friends, feel a strong urge to fit in? Why do I feel like I need to dress or look like everyone else? I find wearing classic clubbing outfits (you know what Iâm talking about) are the least comfortable for me to wear. However, this very well may be comfortable to you or someone else and I solely respect your opinion, one hundred percent, but I ask you do the same for me. Despite this feeling, I still felt extremely liberated. I shed the person I used to be. I decided to be more open minded and accepting of all kinds of clothing and trends. In this sense, I allowed my ego to die- I have come to accept what is and what doesnât work for myself, and not for others. Thatâs their own journey to make. If it makes someone happy, I respect whatever they put on their bodies- including the clubbing uniform, itâs just not my cup of tea.
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I initially wanted to write about gendered and androgynous fashion with this article. As I sat down to pen this piece, I realized itâs not so much about what you look like on the outside, but how you feel on the inside. I realized itâs more important to feel something about the clothes youâre wearing, to feel passionate about what youâre presenting to the world- whether youâre wearing sweatpants or you actually tried this morning. Personally, my fashion choices are my own intimate form of pleasure. Deciding what you want to wear, how to wear things, and figuring out your aesthetic are all extremely important in finding yourself. Your clothes are truly a reflection of yourself. Why not have some fun with it? Dress how you want, let others dress how they want, and everybody wins. Why do we care so much about other peopleâs style? We should really be looking within ourselves. If you want to wear something, just wear it. I donât even care about comments like, what about wearing an appropriate outfit for a certain situation? Oh whatever, youâre not totally ignorant, I would only hope.
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With all of this background information in mind of my personal style, I decided to interview two of my friends about their own unique sense of style and to get a feel of their personal experiences. Enough talk about me, Iâm so boring! Letâs hear from them.
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Megan Visscher (ã¡ãŒã¬ã³ã»ãŽã£ãã·ã£ãŒ)
Megan is one of my most fashionable friends. Naturally, she is majoring in fashion communications. Her style has always influenced mine, being so unique from my own. Her love and passion for clothes and art is incredibly palpable. Megan has always inspired me to push the boundaries of my comfort zone, and for that Iâm always grateful! Get to know her more by reading the following interview and by following her on Instagram & Twitter: @meganvisscherr
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Lisa: What does âfashionâ mean to you? How would you define fashion?
Lisa: ããªãã«ãšã£ãŠããã¡ãã·ã§ã³ããšã¯ïŒããªãã®ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãã©ã説æããïŒ
Megan: I would define fashion as a combination of both art and design. Art allows us to be creative and express ourselves freely, while design is more of an intellectual process, taking ideas and creating an overall concept. Fashion to me, right now, is hard work, dedication and constant creativity. It is hectic, draining and all-consuming but also incredibly exciting and liberating.
Megan: ãããã®ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã¯ã¢ãŒããšãã¶ã€ã³ãæ··ãã£ããã®ãã¢ãŒãã¯èªç±ã«ããããã¡èªèº«ã衚çŸãããã¯ãªãšã€ãã£ãã«ãããŠãããããã¶ã€ã³ã¯ãã£ãšç¥èãå¿ èŠãšãããã®ã§ãã¢ã€ãã¢ã䜿ã£ãããåºæ¬çãªèããäœã£ãããä»ããããã«ãšã£ãŠãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã¯ãåªåã§ãããç®èº«ã§ããããã£ãšç¶ããŠããåµé æ§ãå¿ãããŠãæ¢ãŸããæµãåºãŠããŠãå šãŠäœ¿ãå°œãããŠããããã©ãçŽ æŽãããã»ã©ã«ã¯ã¯ã¯ã¯ããããèªç±ã ãšæããã

L: What time in your life did you feel the most liberated with your fashion choices?
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M: The time I felt most liberated with my fashion choices was probably when I first moved to Toronto. At home I never really felt that I could fully express myself, but after I moved here I felt totally free; I could do or wear whatever I wanted to and that was okay. The people Iâve met have also helped, making me feel like I belong and am accepted in this city.
M: ããããäžçªèªç±ã«ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãéžãã§ããšæããã®ã¯å€åããã³ãã«åŒã£è¶ãããšãããªãå°å ã§ã¯ãäžåºŠãèªåèªèº«ã衚çŸã§ããããšããªããšæããã§ãããã³ãã«åŒã£è¶ããŠããã¯æ¬åœã«èªç±ããããããããããšãããããã®ãäœãããŠããäœãçãŠãå šéšãªãã±ãŒãåºäŒã£ã人ã ãããã¯ããããããã¹ãå Žæã ã£ãããã«ããã¹ããªãã ã£ãŠæãããŠãããã®ã
L: Can you describe an experience youâve had where you felt âout of placeâ or judged for what you looked like or what you were wearing?
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M: An experience that I have felt judged or out of place would be back home. Iâm from a small town so usually itâs cooler to keep your outfits pretty low key. Iâve worn some things that are a little different than what my friends at home might wear, and Iâve overheard people whispering or talking about my Instagram when Iâm around. Itâs weird because I always felt like I fit in at home until I went to school and came back. It made me feel bad about myself, being judged by people I knew and had grown up with. At the same time though, it was cool because I realized I was doing and wearing what I had always wanted to. M: ããããããæããã®ã¯ãå®å®¶ã«äœãã§ãããšãããªããããã¯å°ããªè¡åºèº«ã§ã倧æµã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯æ§ããã®ã»ããããã£ãŠæããããŠããããããå°ãã§ãåšãã®å°å ã®åéãçãŠãããã®ãšéããã®ãçããã誰ããã³ãœã³ãœè©±ããŠãã®ãšãããããã®ã€ã³ã¹ã¿ã®ããšã話ããŠãããšãèãããããããšãããããã€ããããã¯å°å ã«ãã£ãŠãã£ãŠæã£ãŠããã©ãããã³ãã®åŠæ ¡ã«ãã£ãŠå°å ã«åž°ã£ãŠãããããã¯å€ãã£ãŠããå€ãªæããç¥ã£ãŠã人ãäžç·ã«è²ã£ãåãã¡ãã倿ãããŠå«ãªæ°æã¡ããããã©ããã®ãããã§ç§ããã€ãèªåãçãããã®ãçãŠããããããšãããŠããã ã£ãŠæ°ã¥ããããããã£ãã
L: What would be a typical outfit you would wear to a bar, club, party, etc.?
L: ããŒãã¯ã©ããããŒãã£ã«è¡ãæã¯ã©ãããæ Œå¥œãããããšãå€ãïŒ
M: My typical outfit to either a bar, club or party is definitely something sheer. It may be a phase or obsession but I love it.
M: ãããããã€ã倧äœã¯ã©ããããŒãšãã«çãŠããã®ã¯ãã·ã¢ãŒçŽ æã®ãã®(éãéã)ããã¶ãä»ããã£ãŠããã®ãªãã ã倧奜ããªã®ïŒ

L: Can you describe your dream outfit?
L: ããªãã®å€¢ã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯ïŒ
M: Something by Rodarte or Zac Posen⊠or Dior :)
M: ãã£ãªãŒã«ãã¶ãã¯ã»ããŒãŒã³ããããããã«ãã®äœããïŒ
L: What would you say is your favourite outfit youâve ever worn?
L: èªåãä»ãŸã§ããäžã§äžçªãæ°ã«å ¥ãã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯ïŒ
M: Favourite outfit I have ever worn⊠strangely unknown⊠probably wearing cool tights and space buns :)
M: ãããã®ãæ°ã«å ¥ãã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯ãããããªããããã¶ããã¯ãŒã«ãªã¿ã€ããšãã€ã³ãå£åããªïŒ
L: Who or what are your biggest fashion inspirations?
L: 誰ããããã¯äœãããªãã®å€§ããªãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ïŒ
M: My friends are some of my biggest fashion inspirations. Of course I get a lot of inspiration from models and celebrities (most recently Hailey Baldwin and Sofia Richie) but the majority of it all comes from my best friends. Itâs nice because my closest friends are all very unique and different in their own way, with each having their own individual style. I would say confidence is also a huge inspiration - Iâm inspired by people who have it and can wear whatever they want and rock it. Basically, not being afraid to be different; expressing yourself in a way that makes you feel the most like yourself.
M: ãããã®åéã¯å€§ããªãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ãïŒãã¡ãããããããªã¢ãã«ãã»ã¬ãããã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ãåããããšãããã¯(ããæè¿ã§ã¯ãã€ãªãŒã»ããŒã«ããŠã£ã³ãšãœãã£ã¢ã»ãªãããŒ)ã ãã©ãã»ãšãã©ã®ãšãã¯ãã€ã芪åãã¡ããããªããããã®ä»²è¯ãã®åãã¡ã¯ã¿ããªãšãŠããŠããŒã¯ã§éããŠãäžäººäžäººèªåèªèº«ã®ã¹ã¿ã€ã«ãæã£ãŠããŠãçŽ æµã ãããèªä¿¡ããããã¡ãã倧ããªã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ã®äžã€ã ãšæãã®ãèªä¿¡ããã人ã«ã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ãåãããããããã人ãã¡ã¯ã©ããªãã®ã§ãçãŠãã¯ãŒã«ã«èŠããã®ïŒåºæ¬çã«ãã人ãšéããã£ãŠããããšãæããªãããããŠèªåãäžçªèªåããããšæããæ¹æ³ã§èªåã衚çŸã§ããŠãã人ãã¡ãã

All photos by Megan Visscher
Sam Udeschini (ãµã ã»ãŠãã·ã)
Sam has one of the most unapologetically unique styles. Her love of street style and subverting gendered fashion is a source of inspiration with my outfits. Sheâs the best person to go on a shopping binge and matcha tea dates with, while simultaneously complaining about the number of essays we have to write as English majors. You can see more of her effortlessly cool style on her Instagram: @samudeschini
ãµã ã¯åŒè§£ãªãã«äžçªã£ãŠã»ã©ãŠããŒã¯ãªã¹ã¿ã€ã«ãæã£ãŠããã®ã圌女ã®ã¹ããªãŒãã¹ã¿ã€ã«ããããŠæ§ã®åºå¥ã®ã€ã¡ãŒãžã厩ããããªãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãžã®æã¯ãããã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã®ã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ã§ãããã圌女ã¯ããããšåãè±æåŠå°æ»ã ããã©ãã ããšãã»ã€ããããã£ãŠãã¡ãã¡èšããªãããäžç·ã«ã·ã§ããã³ã°ã«è¡ã£ããããè¶ãã«è¡ã£ããããã®ã«äžçªã®çžæããšãã©ãŒãã¬ã¹ã§ã¯ãŒã«ãªã¹ã¿ã€ã«ãã€ã³ã¹ã¿ã§ãã§ãã¯ããŠã¿ãŠïŒ@samudeschini
Lisa: What does âfashionâ mean to you? How would you define fashion?
Lisa: ããªãã«ãšã£ãŠããã¡ãã·ã§ã³ããšã¯ïŒããªãã®ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãã©ã説æããïŒ
Sam: Fashion to me is many things, one being self-expression. Itâs important to be able to dress the way you feel, and fashion can really speak volumes about a person. I think the fashion industry and people who care about this movement get a bad rap sometimes for being shallow, but Iâd like to think itâs more of an art form.
Sam: ãããã«ãšã£ãŠãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã¯ããããªãã®ã§ãããããããèªåã衚çŸããæ¹æ³ã§ããããèªåãã³ãŒãã£ããŒããããããã«çãããšãã¯ãšãŠã倧åã§ããã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã¯ãã®äººãã©ããã人ãã£ãŠèŠããããšãã§ãããã®ã§ãããããã¡ãã·ã§ã³æ¥çãå°ããããšãæ°ã«ãã人ãã¡ã®ããšãèããããã©ããããã¯ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãã¢ãŒãã ãšæãããã
L: What time in your life did you feel the most liberated with your fashion choices?
L: ããªãã®äººçã®äžã§ãã€ãäžçªèªç±ã«ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãéžãã§ããšæãïŒ
S: Definitely being in university, out in the city. I had to wear a uniform in high school which was the total opposite of liberating. Iâm more inspired to experiment with my fashion choices now, and have more confidence to wear things that might be a little unconventional. I had a pretty drastic hair cut last year which was also quite freeing because prior to that I always felt like I had to keep my hair long.
S: 倧åŠã«ãããšããšãã·ãã£ã«åºããããšããã髿 ¡ã§ã¯å¶æãçãªãã¡ããããªããŠãããã£ãŠèªç±ããçéã®ãã®ã ã£ããã ããä»ãèªåã®ãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ãéžã¶ãšãã¯å®éšã¿ãããªæãã§ããã£ãšåã«ã¯ãŸããªããã®ãçãèªä¿¡ãã€ããŠãããå»å¹Žæãåã£ãŠé«ªã®æ¯ãåã£ãã®ããã®ãããèªç±ã«æãããïŒã ã£ãŠé«ªã®æ¯ã¯äŒžã°ããªãããããªãã£ãŠæã£ãŠãããã

Photo by Alannah Moniz
L: Can you describe an experience youâve had where you felt âout of placeâ or judged for what you looked like or what you were wearing?
L: èªåã®çãŠãããã®ãçç±ã§ãããã«ããã¹ããããªããªã£ãŠæããããšãã誰ãã«ãäœããŠãã®ïŒïŒãã¿ãããªç®ã§èŠãããããšã¯ããïŒ
S: Hah. I went to this opening night for a small art exhibit a little while ago. The invite said casual so I showed up in distressed denim and air maxes⊠opened the door to a room full of heels and dresses. Initially, I was annoyed at the situation, but then I kind of just laughed it off and looked at some art because life is too short.
S: å°ãåã«ãããå°ããªã¢ãŒãã®å±ç€ºäŒã®ãªãŒããã³ã°ãã€ãã«è¡ã£ãã®ãæåŸ ç¶ã«ã¯ã«ãžã¥ã¢ã«ã«ã£ãŠæžããŠãã£ãããããŠãŒãºãå å·¥ã®ãããããã ã«ãã€ãã®ãšã¢ããã¯ã¹ãå ¥ã£ãŠãã£ãã®ããã¢ãéããç¬éã«äŒå Žã¯ããŒã«ãšãã¬ã¹ãçã人ãã¡ã§ããµããŠããæåã¯ãã®ç¶æ³ã«ã€ã©ã€ã©ããŠããã©ãã§ãç¬ã£ãŠãã¢ãŒããèŠãŠåã£ãããã ã£ãŠäººçã¯ãããªããšæ°ã«ããæããªããããçããã ããïŒ
L: What would be a typical outfit you would wear to a bar, club, party, etc.?
L: ããŒãã¯ã©ããããŒãã£ã«è¡ãæã¯ã©ãããæ Œå¥œãããããšãå€ãïŒ
S: I try to stay comfy when Iâm going out. My outfits vary depending on my mood or location, but I usually take one unique piece from my wardrobe and pair it with some neutrals. I like to incorporate my every day style into my âgoing outâ look, rather than adhering to the typical, tight dress and heels approach.
S: åºããããšãã¯å€§æµãèªåãå¿å°ãããšæããã³ãŒãã£ããŒããéžã¶ããã«ããŠãããããã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯èªåã®ã ãŒãããããšããã«ãã£ãŠããã€ããã©ãã©ãã ãã©ã倧äœãã€ãæ®éã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã«ãäžã€ã ããŠããŒã¯ãªã¢ã€ãã ãèªåã®ã¯ããŒãŒããããéžãã§èº«ã«ã€ããããã«ããŠãããããã¯ãã€ãã®ã¹ã¿ã€ã«ããã¬ã¹ã¢ããããŠåºããããšãã«åãããã®ã奜ããªã®ãã¿ã€ããã¬ã¹ã«ããŒã«ã¿ããã«ã¿ããªãçããããªãã®ã«åãããããããªããŠãã

Photo by Kyle

L: Can you describe your dream outfit?
L: ããªãã®å€¢ã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯ïŒ
S: Hmm I really want a Vetements x Champion track suit, Iâd 100% live in it every day.
S: ããŒããŽã§ãã¢ã³ãšãã£ã³ããªã³ã®ãã©ãã¯ã¹ãŒãããã®ãããæ¬²ããïŒ100%æ¯æ¥ãããçããšæãã
L: What would you say is your favourite outfit youâve ever worn?
L: èªåãä»ãŸã§ããäžã§äžçªãæ°ã«å ¥ãã®ã³ãŒãã£ããŒãã¯ïŒ
S: I have these white overalls that I wear with a white long sleeve. Iâm pretty sure Iâve gotten some looks because with my pale skin, Iâm basically just a ghost figure in this outfit, but I like wearing it (:
S: çœããªãŒããŒãªãŒã«ãæã£ãŠããã ãã©ããããçœã®é·è¢ãšçãã®ããããèã®è²ããããçœãããã¯ãŒã«ã ãšæããã ããããŸãããããçããšå¹œéã¿ãããªã³ãŒãã£ããŒããªãã ãããã©ãããã奜ããªã®ã
L: Who or what are your biggest fashion inspirations?
L: 誰ããããã¯äœãããªãã®å€§ããªãã¡ãã·ã§ã³ã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ïŒ
S: Iâm not sure if I can point to one specific person but recently @gongju.jiji @mette_roenn and @drop_tokyo are three Instagram accounts that have put out some cool content. As a dancer, I tend to find inspo through the dance scene when I am shopping for streetwear. For the most part though, my inspo comes from random, every day encounters and things that catch my eye in a crowd.
S: 誰ãäžäººãç¹å®ããã®ã¯é£ããããã©ãæè¿ã¯ @gongju.jiji ãš @mette_roenn ãš @drop_tokyo ãã¯ãŒã«ãªãã®ãã·ã§ã¢ããŠã奜ããªã€ã³ã¹ã¿ã®ã¢ã«ãŠã³ãããªããã³ãµãŒãšããŠãã¹ããªãŒããŠã§ã¢ãè²·ãç©ããæã¯ããã³ã¹ã®å Žããã€ã³ã¹ãã¬ãŒã·ã§ã³ããããããšãå€ããããã§ãã»ãšãã©ã®å Žåããããã¯ããããå¿ããäžã§ç®ç«ã£ãŠãããããªã©ã³ãã ãªãã®ããæ¯æ¥ã®åºé¢ããã圱é¿ãåããããšãå€ãããªã
A big thank you to Megan and Sam for answering these questions and delving deep into their personal styles! Itâs always so fun getting to know other peopleâs tastes in fashion. Maybe youâve picked up some cool outfit ideas from what theyâve mentioned. If so, let them know!
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xx Lisa

Guest Writer: Lisa Tower
Lisa is a Japanese-Canadian who was born in Saitama, Japan and raised in Ontario, Canada. She goes to school for English in Toronto. ãªãµã¯æ¥æ¬(åŒç)çãŸããã«ããè²ã¡ã®æ¥æ¬ãšã«ããã®ããŒããããã³ãã«ãã倧åŠã§è±æåŠãå匷äžã