internalizing negativity

Hey, it’s Tamaki! It has been so humid lately, and I just want summer to end already even though it hasn't even started. Today I would like to talk about my experience dealing with negative comments about my body.


My friend told me something yesterday morning as I was waiting for my next class. I used to take classes with her about a year ago and hadn’t spoke to her since. So when I saw her coming out from a classroom next to mine, naturally, I was surprised. It was a mixture of excitement and a sense of dread of having to make small talk. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't communicated with her in over a year. We both smiled and greeted each other. She walked slowly towards me, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was exactly this; “I saw you last week and you're fatter than before, aren't you?”

昨日、前の授業が終わるのをクラスの外で待っている時、かけられた言葉がある。1年くらい前に同じ授業を取っていた子で、久しく話していない。毎日会ったり話してた友達とは、自然とあまりコミュニケーションをとらなくなったからこそ、彼女を久しぶりに見かけた時は驚いたの。声をかけたかったのと、そんなに仲良くない顔見知りとおしゃべりしないといけないという面倒くささと、半々。お互い目が合って、ニコッと笑って、彼女がこっちに歩いてきたから、よし!話すぞ!ってちょっと気合いいれたんだ(笑) そうしたら、彼女の第一声が、「先週たまきのこと見かけたんだけど、太ったよね?」だった。

My brain froze immediately, followed by my