when friendships end


My life got really messy all of a sudden. Moving to another country isn’t easy, but doing it alone is even more difficult. We are certainly a lucky generation, with many types of telecommunication that allow us to keep in contact with everyone, no matter the distance. Relationships are hard by nature: they require presence, constant care, lots of talking and experiences that make you bond with the other person. When you are far away from someone, it's easy to get caught up in your everyday life and not answering messages, not being able to make video calls, ditching the phone and throwing yourself in a new environment. If you also are like me, an introvert, the constant stimulation from a new place to call home can make you feel exhausted and decide to switch off all of your devices.


It has happened to me with some people, where distance couldn’t hold a friendship together. University, work, studying, partying, just having a social life, a partner, wasting time on public transport: life can get really busy! And especially when you are young and still looking for a balance, you may lose people along the way. Just like that, gradually taking different roads.

私には距離のせいで友達でいられなくなった人は、何人かいる。大学、仕事、勉強、パーティ、ソーシャルライフ、パートナー、無駄な移動時間... 人生はいつも忙しい!特に自分が若くて、ライフスタイルのバランスを探している間は、何人の友達を失うかもしれない。みんなそうやって別々の道を選び始める。

I will be honest: I haven’t been very lucky in friendships and this made me develop into an awkward lady with trust issues. It could be a Gemini thing, but again, I had some bad experiences that moulded me into who I am.


When I left my home country, I saw the people who first gravitated in my life on a constant, day to day basis, changing their ways and involvement in my life. Some got closer to me and showed more affection and care than I thought they even had for me and this brought us closer when we were able to meet again, being a sweet surprise; some other people, instead, either felt like contacting for some updates every six or eight months or decided they couldn’t be bothered dealing with a long distance friendship and preferred remaining close with people who were physically present in their everyday life.


I usually always try to keep things together and, when necessary, to fix them, but they don’t always go the way you want because we are talking about relationships, which involve two individuals. It can be incredibly painful, but don’t despair: there are new people along the way. You can learn from everyone you cross paths with.


I am always on guard towards people, in an instinctive way and not always because it’s someone who did me wrong. On one hand, this approach could protect you and leave you independent on an emotional level, which is an ability I personally consider incredibly important because you are free. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with feeling. Especially if what you are feeling is care for someone you shared a piece of your life with, either short or long. Getting attached to someone can be painful, confusing, erupting from deep down within ourselves, and sometimes people take advantage of this.