• eli

coping with life in grad school


Monday, 6:00 am. My boyfriend’s alarm clock rings. It’s so loud I can’t ignore it, I open my eyes, and my body feels very heavy... the weekend is over. I look around to see him shuffling around the room and then my eyelids close again. I wake up thirty minutes later when he’s about to leave the room, kiss him goodbye and – finally – I lift myself up. Still sitting on my bed, I spend the next hour scrolling Instagram, trying to give my brain the dopamine it needs to get me through the day. It’s not just my body – my heart feels heavy too.


It’s very common for me to start the day like this. Before my boyfriend moved into my house it was even worse – sometimes I would spend two to three hours doing nothing but staring at my phone before actually getting up. Thankfully living with him has given me a routine that makes me feel better.


I just entered my second year of my PhD program in Cultural Studies. My university doesn’t have mandatory classes for programs above the MA, so I have a lot of time that I have to organize all on my own. I do meet my advisor every week, but that’s about it… Actually, even that is not really a requirement. We used to see each other every two weeks, but I asked her to meet more often because I thought it would be better for my research.