top of page
  • mio

moments when i feel love



I think every person has different moments where they feel love. That love might be from a family member, a lover, a friend, an animal, nature, or a stranger. Recently, the weather has gotten very cold. When I leave the house in the morning to go to work, the sky that I see from my car is overcast and dull, and it reminds me that it's really already winter. For me, winter feels like a season that makes me kind of feel lonely, and crave touch. I tend to feel a little depressed every year during this time. I don’t think I’m alone in this -- maybe you feel the same way?


Last year when I was a college student, I hated the lonely atmosphere of the evening that was there from the end of my class until the start of my part-time job. There was a day that I cried after getting home from seeing friends at college. I was being crushed by a feeling of sadness that I didn’t understand the reasoning behind. Since I’m not good at being vulnerable and showing people my weaknesses, I had convinced myself that it wasn’t bad enough to tell my friends and family about my loneliness. I didn't know who I should talk to about these feelings, and I would cry again.


Since I became a working member of society this year, I rarely go to dinner with friends or go shopping on weekdays after work because the commute alone from my house to work and back is already tiring enough. As soon as work is over, I want to go home, eat dinner, take a bath, and sleep right away. So, the opportunities I have to interact with people have really decreased. I don’t feel like going outside and moving my body and my time at home is spent reading or watching Netflix. I don’t feel good about this lifestyle, and I feel anxious that I will continue to live such a life.


On the other hand, there are times when I am so busy that I have no time to be depressed. Since I don't have time to think deeply about anything, I am less likely to become pessimistic. But even in these cases, loneliness may come rushing in without warning. When this happens, I sometimes let my emotions out and shed some tears, but now I have a lover who wipes those tears away. My lover’s existence, who gently holds me when I am crying without any particular reason is really meaningful for me, and I feel a warm and big heart that makes me feel loved.


Moreover, when I become nostalgic, I am reminded that those nostalgic memories are a past that I won’t ever be able to go back to and I struggle to come back from sadness. At times like these, I long to feel people’s warmth and love.


As I said at the beginning, in winter, I tend to feel kind of lonely and crave people’s warmth and love. Maybe because I become sensitive to such emotions during this time, I have recently realized that there are many moments where I feel love, that is not just from my lover. When I went to the local Starbucks for the first time in a while, a store clerk asked me, "How are you? Thank you for being our customer!" I wasn't especially close to that clerk or anything, and it had been a long time since I went to that particular Starbucks, and I knew that store clerks see many customers in a day. So I was so surprised for a moment that I didn't know how to respond. My heart felt so warm in response to her words, and I felt love!








When I became more conscious of love in my daily life, I realized that there were many moments where I felt love. To name a couple,

・ The moment I wear my favorite sweater for the first time that year

・ When my teenage sister in the midst of her rebellious phase said, “Good night sis” with a shy appearance

・ When a friend who has left the university after graduating contacted me, saying "How are you doing? Miss you."

・ When I washed the stuffed dog that my grandma bought for me when I was three.

・ When I listened to Julia Michaels’ album for the first time in a long time -- an album I was listening to a lot around the time my lover confessed his feelings for me.

There are many moments like these when I feel love. It may be a small thing, but for me it is an important and meaningful moment.

それに愛を感じる瞬間って、人と一緒にいるときだけには限らないなって気付いた。昔好きだった本を読み返した時。友達や家族、恋人がプレゼントしてくれた大切な服や食器やコスメを使う時。お気に入りの歌や思い出が詰まった歌を聴いている時。懐かしい景色や旅先で見た景色を写真で見返した時。人からだけではない、身の回りにある大切な物や日常の中のささいな愛がわたしの心を満たしてくれる。はじめに言ったように、愛を感じる瞬間って本当に人それぞれだと思う。大好きな人たちと「おいしいね!」って言い合いながらご飯を食べている瞬間も愛だと思うし、恋人に抱きしめられた時の心が落ち着く瞬間も愛だと思う。旅先で名前も知らない人が道を教えてくれる事も愛だと思うし、職場の人から「頑張ったね!」って褒めてもらえた時も愛だと思う。最近では、American Music Awardsで大好きなテイラー・スウィフトが昔の曲を含めたメドレーを披露しているのを見て、本当にファンへの感謝と大きな愛を感じた。

I also realized that the moments I feel love is not limited to when I am with people. For example, when I reread a book I liked a long time ago. When I wear clothes, use tableware, or cosmetics that my friends, family, or lover gave me. When I listen to my favorite songs or songs that I associate with certain memories. When I look back on a photograph of nostalgic scenery or scenery I saw while traveling. The love I get from special things around me and little moments in everyday life fills my heart. As I said in the beginning of this article, I think that the moments you feel love is really specific to each person. I think that love is the moment you eat with your loved ones, saying “it’s delicious!” Love is the moment when you are in your lover’s arms. I think it's also love when someone who doesn't even know your name helps you find your way when you’re lost while traveling. It’s love when someone from your workplace tells you, "You did a good job!" Recently, when I saw my favorite artist, Tay (Taylor Swift!) performing a medley of her old songs at the American Music Awards, I really felt her love and appreciation for her fans.

こんな風にみんなにも愛を感じる瞬間ってあるかな? それってどんな愛? それがどんなに小さな愛でも、それってすごく素敵なことだと思う。わたしも、もっともっとたくさんの愛をこれからも探していけたらいいな。

Is there a moment when you feel love? What kind of love is that? I think it's a wonderful thing, no matter how small it is. I want to find more and more love, too.

Images by Mio

Edited by Kiara and Hikari

bottom of page