• mio

feeling nostalgic

懐かしさを感じること

学生生活と言われるものから離れてちょうど1年が経つ。あの頃は今より楽しかったな、とか、あの頃に戻りたいなとか、そんな風に思う人もたくさんいると思う。わたしもそんな感情を抱くうちの一人。でもわたしの場合、懐かしさを感じてしまうと、過去に戻れないことを悔やんで悲しくなって落ち込んで、なかなかその感情から戻れなくなってしまう傾向がある。別に過去に戻って人生を一からやり直したいとかそんな風には思ってはいない。ただ単に、部活動に打ち込んでいたあの頃の自分や友達にもう一度会いたいとか、叶わない恋だったけど毎日その人のことを考えていた日々をもう一度過ごしたいとか、大学の友達と朝方まで遊んで寝不足のままもう一度授業に出たいとか。そんな楽しかった瞬間一つ一つに戻って、その瞬間をもう一度味わいたいだけ。だけどそんなことは決してできない訳で、でも戻りたくて…っていう感情がループして、落ち込んでしまって、ひどい時には涙を流してしまうこともある。

Just one year has passed from what is called student life. I think there are many people who look back at that time and think that it was more fun and want to return to that time. I am one of those who feel that way. But in my case, when I feel nostalgic, I tend to be sad and depressed to regret not being able to return to the past, and it is difficult to come back from that feeling. I don't really want to go back and start over that part of my life again. I simply want to see myself and friends at that time who were devoted to club activities, or I want to spend the days again thinking about that person who I liked even though that love was not fulfilled. Or I want to go to class again with lack of sleep after hanging out with my college friends until the morning. I just want to go back to each of those wonderful moments and enjoy that moment again. I can't do that, but I just want to go back ... the feeling of looping back into the same thought, getting depressed, and sometimes I end up even crying.