• rio

is it "normal" to fall in love?



I believed that it was natural for us to be in love with someone by reading Japanese romance comics and watching romantic Japanese drama series. When I talked with my friends about dating or relationships, I was always embarrassed about myself never having a partner, and I sometimes thought there was something wrong with me. However, when I started to study gender studies, I came across a word, “Romantic Orientation.” And it taught me that not everyone feels exactly the same feelings when they are in love with someone, and it also made my perspective about love expand. I will talk about this experience and story today.


I think my first time when I felt attracted to a boy was when I was 17 years old. He was one year older than me and we worked at the same store. I think we were getting along well, and we sometimes hung out with some other friends. He was the person who I gave chocolates to on Valentine’s Day for the first time. In Japan, girls give boys gifts for Valentine’s Day, opposite to what is typical in Western cultures. In the end, he started dating a girl, and I experienced “heartbreak.” But honestly, I was not suffering from it. I thought I would suffer from the heartbreak, but I just felt sad because we did not talk as much as we did before. I think I was attracted to him, but I just wanted to talk to him because I really enjoyed talking to him. It did not mean that I necessarily wanted to date him.