่ชๅใๅฎใใใใซๅบๆฅใใใจ
ย
ใๅฆๅจ ใใฆใใใฉใใใใใใ็็ใๆฅใชใใฆใๅฟ้ ใงใๅฟ้ ใง็ ใใชใๅคใ้ใใใใใจใ็ใฃๆใช้จๅฑใงใ1ไบบใใใใง่ชฟในใใใจใใงใใฉใใ ใ่ชฟในใฆใใ็งใฎ๏ผ็ช่ใใใ็ญใใใNOใใฏใฉใใใใๅบใฆใใชใใ่ชๅใฎไฝใชใฎใซใ็็ใๆฅใใพใงไฝใ่ชๅใฎไธญใง่ตทใใฃใฆใใใฎใๅใใใชใใใจใๆฌๅฝใซๆใใฃใใ
ย
โWhat if I am pregnant?โ I spent sleepless nights because of the anxiety. In my dark bedroom, I searched on the internet for the answer. But no matter how much I searched, the answer โNoโ which I wanted to hear never came up. It was so scary to not know what was happening inside my own body.
ย
ใฏใใใฏๆผ ็ถใจใใไธๅฎใ ใฃใใใฉใใใใฏใ ใใ ใๅ ทไฝ็ใช็พๅฎๅณใๅธฏใณใไธๅฎใซๅคใใฃใฆใใฃใใใใพใ ๅๅผทใใใใๆ ่กใใใใใใใใใใใจใใใฃใฑใใใใใใๆฌๅฝใซๅฆๅจ ใใฆใใใฉใใใใใไปใฎ่ชๅใๅญใฉใใ็ฃใใง่ฒใฆใใใใฎใ๏ผๅฐๆฅใฏใฉใใชใใฎ๏ผๅฎถๆใซใฏใชใใฆ่จใใฐ่ฏใใใ ใใใใๆฌกใใๆฌกใธใจ็ญใใฎใชใไธๅฎใ้ ญใๆฏ้ ใใฆใใใใใงๆฌๅฝใซๆใใฃใใ
ย
The anxiety and fear I felt at that time was a lot for me. I want to keep studying, travel, and I have a lot of things I wish to do. What if I am pregnant for real? Is it possible for me to give birth and raise a child? What will my future be like? How will I tell my family? It was like the unanswerable anxieties took over my mind one after another. First, it was ambiguous anxiety, but it gradually changed into an anxiety which took on realness which was really scary.ย
ย
ย
ใใใใ็ถๆณใซ่ชๅใ็ฝฎใใใฆใไปใพใงใฎ่ชๅใใ่ชๅใฎไฝใฎใใจใใกใใใจๅใใฃใฆใใชใใฃใใใจใซๆฐใฅใใใไธญๅญฆใ้ซๆ กใจไฟๅฅใฎๆๆฅญใฎไธ็ฐใจใใฆใๆๆฅๆใฎไฝใฎๅคๅใๆด็ใฎไป็ตใฟใ้ฟๅฆใฎใใจใฏ็ฟใฃใใ๏ผใณใณใใผใ ใฎใใจใฏ็ฟใฃใใใฉใใใซใฎใใจใฏๆ็งๆธใซๆธใใใฆใใใฎใ่ชญใใ ใ ใใชๆฐใใใใ๏ผใงใๅฎ้ใซ่ชๅใฎใใจใจใใฆ่ใใฆใชใใฃใใ็งใฏใใจใใจใๆใซ๏ผใ๏ผๅ็็ใๆฅใใใ้ใซ๏ผใถๆๆฅใชใใฃใใใจไธๅฎๅฎใ ใฃใใใใไธๅฟใ็็็ฎก็ใขใใชใฎใซใใซใใไฝฟใฃใฆ่จ้ฒใใฆใใใใฉใ่ชๅใฎ็็ๅจๆใซใคใใฆๅๆใใใใ่ใใใใใใใจใฏใชใใฃใใใใคๆๅตใ่ตทใใฆใใใค็็ใๆฅใใฎใ๏ผไธๅฎๅฎใ ใใๅใใใชใใใใไปฅไธ่ใใใใจใใชใใฃใใใใใใใ่ชๅใๅฆๅจ ใใใใฉใใใใ๏ผใฃใฆไธๅฎใช็ถๆณใซใชใฃใใจใใ่ชๅใง่ชๅใฎไฝใฎใใจใๅใใฃใฆใใชใใๆ ใซใใใซไธๅฎใซใชใฃใใ
ย
Being put in this situation, I realized for the first time that I didnโt understand my body. In health and physical education classes in junior high school and high school, I did learn about the body and contraception (We were taught how to use a condom but I only learnt about the pill from reading the textbook). However, I didnโt think of the things I learnt as things to do with myself. Originally, my period was irregular. Sometimes it came twice or three times a month, sometimes it didnโt come for two months. So I recorded my period using an app called lunaluna, but I hadnโt analyzed or thought about my period. I couldnโt know when I would ovulate and when my period would start because my cycle was irregular. I didnโt try to think beyond that, so it made me more anxious when I was worried that I was pregnant.
ย
ย
ใใไปฅๆฅใ็งใฏ๏ผใคใฎๆฐใใใใจใๅงใใใใจใซใใใ
Since then, I decided to start doing three new things.
ย
โ ใใซใ้ฃฒใใใจ
้ฟๅฆใใใใฎใซใณใณใใผใ ใใใใใจใฏใใกใใใ ใใฉใ็ขบๅฎใใจ่จใฃใใใใใใใชใใใใซใ100๏ผ ใฎ้ฟๅฆๆณใงใฏใชใใใใฉใ่ชๅใๅฎใใใใฎไธปไฝ็ใช้ฟๅฆใฎ๏ผใคใจใใฆใ็งใฏ่ชๅใๅบๆฅใใใจใฏใใใใจๆใฃใใใใซใฎใใกใชใใใฎ๏ผใคใจใใฆใใใซใ้ฃฒใฟๅงใใใฐใใใฎ้ ใใพใใซๅบใๅฏไฝ็จใฎ๏ผใคใฎ่กๆ ็ใ็ใใใใจใใฏไธๅฎใซใชใฃใใใฉใ่กๆถฒๆคๆปใฎ็ตๆใฏๅ้กใชใ้ฃฒใฟ็ถใใใใจใใงใใใจๅใใฃใใใใจใฏใ้กใ่ถณใๅใใใใใใฟใใใใชใฃใใใจใใงใ็งใซใจใฃใฆใฏใกใชใใใฎๆนใๅคงใใใฃใใจๆใใไธๅฎๅฎใ ใฃใ็็ใใกใใใจไบๆธฌ้ใใซๆฅใใใใซใชใฃใใใจใๆฅใซ็็ใๆฅใฆๆ ใฆใใใจใใชใใใไบๅฎใ็ซใฆใใใใชใฃใใ็็ใๆฅใชใไธๅฎใๆใใใใจใใชใใชใฃใใ่ชๅใง่ชๅใฎไฝใฎใใจใๅใใใใจใใณใณใใญใผใซใงใใใใจใฏใ็งใซๅฎๅฟๆใใใใใใใใไปใพใงใฎๆผ ็ถใจใใไธๅฎใๆใใใซๆธใใใใซใชใฃใใ
ย
โ Taking the pill
It goes without saying that condoms are a great contraceptive method, but they are not 100% effective. Not that the pill can prevent pregnancy 100%, but as a method that allows me to take charge, I wanted to do this in order to to do as much as possible to protect myself. When I just started taking the pill, it was suspected that I was developing thrombosis (blood clots) which is one of the rare side effects, I felt unrest, but a blood test proved that there was no problem. Other cons are that my legs and face easily retain water and swell now. But the pill gave me more pros than cons. My period became regular. I donโt have to worry about my period being late or coming unexpectedly, and planning became easier. Understanding and controlling my body brought relief for me, and I came to not feel anxiety like before.
ย
ย
โกๆฏๆใๅบ็คไฝๆธฉใ่จใใใจ
ๆใ็ฎใ่ฆใใใใ่ตทใไธใใๅใซไฝๆธฉ่จใงๅบ็คไฝๆธฉ*ใๆธฌใใ็็ใไธๅฎๅฎใ ใฃใใใใใๆฏใใใใ็็ใไบๆธฌใใใใใซใๅบ็คไฝๆธฉใใคใใใใใซ่จใใใฆใใใฉใไปใพใงใฏใชใใจใชใ้ขๅใใใใฆใใฃใฆใชใใฃใใๅฎ้ใซใฏ๏ผๅใใใใใชใใใใใฃใฆใฟใใใใใชใซๅคงๅคใใใชใใฃใใๆฏๆ่ตทใใฆใใใฎ็ฟๆ ฃใซใใฆใใพใใฐใ็นใซไฝใ่ใใใซ่ช็ถใจไฝๆธฉ่จใซๆใไผธใฐใใฆใใใ่จใ็ตใใฃใใใซใใซใใซ่จ้ฒใใใ่ชๅ็ใซใฐใฉใใไฝใฃใฆใใใใใไพฟๅฉ๏ผ
ย
*ๅบ็คไฝๆธฉ ๏ผ ไฝๆธฉใฎๅคๅใใใใใคๆๅตใ่ตทใใฆใใใฎใใไบๆธฌใใใใจใๅบๆฅใใๆๅตใใใใจใง้ซๆธฉๆใจใใใใใไฝๆธฉใฎ้ซใ็ถๆ ใ็ด๏ผ้ฑ้็ถใใฆใๅฆๅจ ใใฆใใชใใใฐใใฎๅพ็็ใๆฅใใ
ย
โก Measuring my basal body temperature every day
Every morning when I wake up, I measure my basal body temperature* before getting up. My mother used to tell me to track my basal body temperature because of my irregular period to predict next menstruation, but I didnโt do it before because I couldnโt be bothered. But actually, it takes less than a minute and itโs not difficult to do every day. Once it became a habit, my hand started reaching for theย thermometer unconsciously. After measuring, I record my temperature on lunaluna. It is useful because it also automatically makes a graph for you!
* basal body temperature = You can estimate the day of ovulation from the basal body temperature. After ovulation, the body has a higher temperature for around two weeks. If you are not pregnant, your period would come after the two weeks.ย
ย
ย
โขไฝใซ่ตทใใฃใใใจใ่จ้ฒใใใใจ
ๅฆๅจ ใใฆใใใฉใใใใใปใปใปใฃใฆใใใใง่ชฟในใฆใใใจใใซใ่ชๅใฎไฝใง่ตทใใฃใฆใใใใจใฎใใญใกใผใฟใผใฎ๏ผใคใจใใฆใใใใใฎใซใคใใฆๅคใๆธใใใฆใใใใจใซๆฐใใคใใใไปใพใงใใใชใใจๆฐใซใใใใจใใชใใฃใใใฉใใใใใฎใฃใฆใ่ชๅใฎไฝใฎ็ถๆณใๆใใฆใใใใใไฝใใใใฎใตใคใณใ ใฃใใใใใฃใฆใใจใ็ฅใฃใฆใไฝใๅคๅใใใใจใใฏใใใใซใใซใใซ่จ้ฒใใใใใซใใฆใใใใใใฎไปฅๅคใซใใใกใใฃใจ็ฑใใใใจใใไพฟ็งใใใจใใไฝใซ่ตทใใฃใใใจใฏๅบๆฅใใ ใ่จ้ฒใใฆใๅพใงไฝใ่ตทใใฃใใจใใซๆฏใ่ฟใใใจใใงใใใใใซใใฆใใใใใฏ็ ้ขใซ่กใใจใใซใๅฝนใซ็ซใค๏ผ
ย
โข Recording things that are happening to my body
When I was searching on the internet about whether I was pregnant, I found that vaginal discharge was one of the barometers of your physical condition. I hadnโt cared about my discharge before, but I started to record it when it feels different. I also record how my body feels in general too. For example, if I have a fever, constipation, or anything atypical so that I can review it if something happens to me. It would be useful when you go to a doctor.
ย
ย
่ชๅใฎไฝใๅฎใใใจใๅบๆฅใใฎใฏใๆ็ต็ใซใฏ่ชๅใใใใชใใจๆใฃใใใ ใใใงใใ้ใใฎใใจใใใใใใๅบๆฅใใ ใ่ชๅใ็่งฃใใใใๅฎ้ใซใๅฆๅจ ใใฆใใใฉใใใใใใฃใฆใใไธๅฎใๆใใใใจใฎใใไบบใฏๅฐใชใใชใๆฐใใใใใใฎไธๆนใงใๅ้ๅๅฃซใงใใใใ่ฉฑใใใใใจใฃใฆใใใพใใชใใใ็ง่ช่บซใใใซใ้ฃฒใใงใใใใจใฏใใใใ่จใใใจใงใใชใใจๆใฃใฆใใใ่ชฐใซใ่จใฃใฆใใชใใฃใใใงใไธๅฎใซใชใฃใใจใใใใฉใใใฆใใใๅใใใชใใชใฃใใจใใ่ชๅใฎไฝใฎ็ถๆณใ้ฟๅฆใฎใใจใ่ชฐใใซ่ฉฑใใใใ่ชๅใ็ฅใใชใใฃใใใจใ็ฅใใใจใๅบๆฅใใใใใใชใใใ๏ผไบบใงๆฑใ่พผใใใใใฃใจ่ฏใใจๆใใไบบใใใใ็ถๆณใใ่ใๆนใฏ้ใใใ้ฃใใใใจใใใใใใใใชใใใฉใๆฎๆฎตใใไฝใฎใใจใ้ฟๅฆใฎใใจใใใฃใจๆฐ่ปฝใซ่ฉฑใใใใชใใใจๆใใใใใใใใ็งใฎ่ฉฑใ่ชฐใใฎๅฝนใซ็ซใคใใจใใใใใใใใชใใใใ็งใฏ่ชๅใฎ็ต้จใใทใงใขใใใใจๆใฃใ๏ผไปใซใใพใ ใพใ ็ฅใใชใใใจใฏใใฃใฑใใใใจๆใใใใใใใใใฏใใฃใจ่ชๅใใ็ฅใใใจๆใฃใฆใใใฟใใชใฏ่ชๅใฎไฝใ็่งฃใใใใๅฎใฃใใใใใใใซไฝใใใฆใใใใจใฏใใ๏ผ
ย
I realized that I am the only one who can protect myself, so I want to do as much as I can to understand myself. I think itโs common to experience pregnancy scares. But at the same time, I donโt talk about these things with my friends, and I hadnโt told anyone that I was on the pill because I thought that there was no need to talk about it. But I think that it is better if we can talk to someone when we feel anxiety because we would be able to know what we hadnโt done before. Everyoneโs situation is different and the way people think depends on the person, so it might be difficult to talk about these issues that have to do with our body and contraception -- but I think it would be great if we did. I decided to share my experience because I thought it could be useful for someone. There are a lot of things I still donโt know, so I want to try to keep actively learning. Is there anything you do to know your body better or protect it? Iโd love to know!ย
ย
Images by Yuri
ย
